Monday, October 4, 2010

Is this it? Where are my panties?

We are born. And then we have mid-life crises. Of course, there's a lot in between. But right now, everyone that I know between 40 and 50, is thinking, as David Byrne thought, "How did I get here?"

We want to remember, "In your eyes, the light, the heat," and how we felt watching John Cusack woo Ione Skye in "Say Anything." "In your eyes, I am complete."

We don't want to think, "Is this it?"

We still want our romance. Hell, I want that "Sixteen Candles'" birthday cake, to kiss cutie pie Jake. He can hand me my panties any day. (Remember: "My little brother paid a buck to see your panties.")

Here's a question I'll throw your way: What keeps you young? What keeps you romantic? What keeps you bouncing and hopping and loving life? Lay it on me!


  1. I'm in that space too. I keep having this feeling that somehow I went astray, and I'm only now realizing it. I have no answers to your question. But I am slowly realizing that the answer, if there is an answer, which there probably is not, has something to do with focusing more on the things that one has now -- that is, the things that make one happy -- and less on one's dreams. At this age, anyway. I've already *reached* many of my dreams (most importantly, having a family) and to get caught up in wishingwishingwishing for more is the very thing that makes me feel washed up.

  2. Great response! Family is the most important thing. And friends.

  3. The thing that keeps me going and reminds me how much I love my partner and my life is unplugging from everything else---turning off the phones and closing the computers and not leaving the house---and spending a day or two just hanging out together. It's too easy to forget about having real conversations when you're caught up in day-to-day details, so removing them from the equation helps. A lot.

  4. When Delaney was a cranky baby, I had a long day with her. During her nap, I worked on a sad report on the state of social services for kids in New Jersey. As I got ready for bed that night, I was thinking that I was still a sort of sexy Nana even though my life was filled with serious responsibilities. Then I took off my bra and two goldfish crackers fell out. I did too - laughing! That's my best coping skill. Maybe my only one.

  5. Thanks for the great comments, Carol and Rebecca. I think unplugging and laughter are key.

  6. Going out on the deck at dawn and doing some stretching au naturel and reveling in the miracle of consciousness and then reading some more of Walt Whitman's Song of myself.

    Listening to Beethoven's Five Piano Concertos while my hands are working on cabinets and my mind is working on myself and I gain a new insight. Work Therapy.

    Reading The Call of the Wild and then a few days later listening to all of White Fang in one eight hour drive.

    Getting clear on something I have been grappling with and writing it down.

    Posting something that shows myself on Facebook (or anywhere).

    Endorphin high after a run.

    Involuntary hip bucking, mind altering, screaming orgasm.

  7. Wow! I'm just now reading this... Great post. Thanks for commenting.